Why Letting Go Feels Scary and How to Overcome It
Your new life will cost you your old one. The idea sounds simple, but many of us find it difficult to accept.
We’ve all heard it before: Your new life will cost you your old one.
The idea sounds simple, but many of us find it difficult to accept.
So why do we resist?
I think it comes down to two things:
1/ We equate letting go with failure.
2/ We see the in-between as a scary, empty void.
It’s no surprise we feel this way.
Society teaches us that more is better, and that holding on - whether it’s to relationships, habits, or beliefs - makes us feel secure. The idea of surrendering can feel like waving a white flag.
And then there’s the fear of uncertainty.
If I let go of what I know, then what? The unknown can feel like stepping into a dark, endless void, so we cling to the familiar - even when it’s clearly poisioning us.
But what if there’s another way to think about this?
What if releasing was something to *celebrate*?
And what if that “void” was actually rich soil, ready for new growth?
When I was a kid, my mom and I had a yearly ritual: cleaning out my closet.
We’d pull out clothes that no longer fit and put them into donation piles. Instead of feeling sad about what was leaving, I felt excited. I wasn’t losing anything - I was making room for new things that better suited who I was becoming.
The same principle applies to life.
Over the years, I’ve had to let go of friendships, romantic partnerships, even outdated perceptions of myself. I won’t pretend it was easy - it was incredibly painful. But every time, those releases became fertilizer for what came next.
Letting go was never the end; it was the beginning of something more aligned with my growth.
This is the mindset that changes everything.
When we celebrate release, we acknowledge that it’s clearing space for what truly serves us. And when we see the in-between not as a void but as a creative space, we can embrace it with curiosity and trust.
Here’s how to embrace this perspective:
1/ Identify What’s Holding You Back:
Take an honest look at your life. What beliefs, habits, or relationships feel heavy or out of place? Recognizing what needs to go is the first step to real freedom.
2/ Shift from Loss to Gratitude:
Rather than focusing on what you’re letting go of, appreciate the lessons, memories, and growth it brought you. Then celebrate the new space it’s creating for your next chapter.
3/ Have Curiosity in the New:
Letting go is a journey of exploration. As you release what no longer serves you, approach the unknown with a sense of wonder. The new opportunities and relationships that come your way might not fit your previous patterns. Embrace this change as a chance to explore new ways of being.
4/ Embrace Life’s Cycles:
Life moves in rhythms of growth, change, and renewal. Just as winter gives way to spring, each ending makes way for new beginnings. Let go with confidence that knowing that new growth is not just a possibility but a certainty.
Tiffany May Yan Chan
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