Healing is a Leadership Responsibility
There's a saying, "Hurt people, hurt people", but I believe that "Healed people, heal people."
I used to hate attending wakes.
It wasn’t just the long lines or the awkward shuffle -
I didn’t know how to support someone in grief.
I’d scramble for the right words, desperate for meaningful insight or even a joke to lighten the mood. But really, I was just trying to avoid raw emotion. Needless to say, my attempts fell flat and I left feeling like a lousy friend.
Everything changed after my accident.
I was forced to confront grief in a real way. I had to sit with my emotions, truly feel them, and understand them. Only then did the grief release.
This experience taught me a valuable lesson:
Healing comes from being fully present - with our own emotions and those of others.
The truth is, I couldn’t be fully present for others because I hadn’t learned to be fully present with myself.
There’s a saying that “hurt people, hurt people” - unresolved patterns influence how we interact with others. But I also realized the opposite is true: “healed people, heal people.” When we address and heal our own wounds, we become better equipped to support others.
As leaders, embracing our healing isn’t just important - it’s our responsibility.
What we don’t transmute, we transmit.
Whether we admit it or not, unresolved pain doesn’t stay contained in us. It seeps into our interactions, decisions, and leadership. It creates cycles of dysfunction that can affect our teams and broader culture.
But here’s the good news:
When we engage in our healing, we transform that energy into something constructive and empowering. We then lead from a place of wholeness, empathy, and clarity.
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Investing in my healing has transformed how I support others in grief.
Here’s how I approach it now:
1/ Be Fully Present:
When someone shares their struggles, put away the phone. The greatest gift you can offer is your complete attention. There is only now.
2/ Avoid Rushing to Fix Things:
Instead of jumping to offer solutions, engage with their current experience. Ask questions like, “What was their name? What did you love most? What drove you nuts?” We think these questions are intrusive, but in reality, most people want to share what’s present for them.
3/ Accept Emotions as They Are:
We avoid grief because we fear the emotions. But remember, emotion is just energy. Energy just needs to be experienced for 3-5 minutes before it moves on. Be present with what is, and will transition naturally.
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I don’t wish grief upon anyone, but grief is a part of being human.
If we must face it, let’s master the art of being present and connecting with others in our shared humanity.
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I’d love to hear from you.
How have you invested in your own healing?
What’s been the impact on how you lead in the world?
Tiffany May Yan Chan Find me on LinkedIn or Book a 1:1 Call
Whenever you’re ready there are two ways I can help you:
Akashic Records Session: Dive deep into the wisdom of your soul with a personalized session. Whether you’re seeking answers to specific life questions, healing from past wounds, or looking for direction on your spiritual path, the Akashic Records provide a transformative experience. Each session is tailored to your needs, offering clarity, healing, and alignment with your higher self.
Individual Coaching and Mentorship: Learn how to clearly and consistently hear Spirit through personalized coaching and mentorship. Designed to help you embody your Higher Self and translate spiritual insights into practical action when it matters most. Interested? Book a call to learn more.
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